Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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