sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
