I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
