Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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