There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
