Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
COCAINE IS GR8
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
