We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
