Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
