then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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