I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
50% drunk capacity currently
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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