I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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