The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
