Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
babies were throwing up all over the place
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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