Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
