is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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