I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
