Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
