We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
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Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize