I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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