Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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