dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
