Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
God, I missed his penis.
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