yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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