Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
