Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
handjob tips. give me some.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
