thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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