That reminds me...we need to get swords
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
