dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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