he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
