I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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