OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They took my balls.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
