He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
