i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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