i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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