I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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