Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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