I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
