I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
