i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
