your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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