The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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