Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
