are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I understand Curling. That high.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
