i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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