problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.  Â
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
