Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
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The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
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My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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