"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize