wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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