Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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