tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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