i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
