We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm way too hungover for life right now
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
