I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
