I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
