i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Girls should come with a carfax report
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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