He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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