He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
