I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
