Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Randomize
