One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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