from now on my penis is your penis
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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