YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Can I color on your dick again?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
