sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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