this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
