Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
