How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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