I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
