Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
