I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
