i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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