I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
